Seeing as we're in the home stretch of the festive season, I thought it would be a timely to share some fun musings I wrote last year on Christmas Day (some bits may not have entirely aged that well tho 😅)
Since I guessed that most folk would've been offline then, I decided to hold off posting it till the run-up to Christmas this year, so more folks may get to see it in a more timely way. So, here we go! Hoping everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🎅🎅🎅
~~~ 🎅🎅🎅 ~~~
While watering the Christmas tree this morning, I was struck by a sudden shocking realization:
Santa Claus is Chinese! 😂
Think about it:
✅ Has long white beard - Wise old dudes also used to look like that (check out the "sifu's" from
any ancient Chinese martial arts film)
✅ Dresses in a red suit with white fleece edges, and wears a hat with a ball - Ummm... have you
seen the traditional clothes Chinese people wear at Chinese New Year? Red is all the rage!
✅ "Ho Ho Ho" - While Westerners typically think this Santa's famous catchphrase is the sound
of jolly laughing / chuckling, they may have actually misheard / misunderstood...
Remember how there's also that "naughty or nice" thing? Well, guess what the Cantonese word
for "good" sounds like? 😜
Yup, you guessed it: "Hoah" (好)
So, he's literally been going around saying: "好, 好, 好"
(And if you were naughty... well, we gave no records of their encounters with him 😅)
✅ Has an army of elves who spend all year making toys for all the children of the world - It
should be obvious at this point right, eh?
If not, remember how the "world's factory" literally has hordes of minions hand assembling every
toy under the sun, and makes good knock off's of the ones they don't officially make? 😜
Plus, don't you forget, their distribution networks are insane! 🤣
✅ Landing on roofs and entering via chimneys at night - You know who else likes flying around
at night, entering via the roof vs going through the front door like a normal person?
(... cue clip of kung fu masters practising "hing kung" - translation for Westerners: see Crouching
Tiger Hidden Dragon...)
Yup, the dude is a martial arts exponent 🤣
Being fat apparently doesn't hinder his movements (see that Sammo Hung table-fight scene in Ip
Man 2) 😜
✅ Oh and one last thing: You know how we call him "Father Christmas"?
Well, his name is actually "Fuk Bak" (福) - literally lucky-fortune grandpa...
His "Santa Sack"? Well that's a red reusable shopping bag from the local Chinatown market, with
a big 福 on it... come to think of it, running that shop may be his year-round day job 😜
🎅🎅🎅
(Disclaimer: Apologies in advance if I've actually gotten the wrong Chinese characters here - I've just picked the closest matching ones via Google Translate 😜)
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